Kamen Rider. Man, who could forget such a cool tokusatsu?...nobody because someone who doesn't know about tokuatsu just says it's power rangers.
Well, not anymore, that's for sure.
I went downstairs to the basement to go get my old computer to play some games that wouldn't normally play on my current PC, but then i saw an odd figure, and had no idea what it was. I went to go see what it was, and saw it was quite dusty. I dusted it off, and saw it was a Ganbarizing machine!
I was confused about why it was in my basement, but who cares? It's a fucking Ganbarizing machine!
I looked next to it and found some rider cards, an IC card, and, for some reason, an eyecon and a gashat! However, they didn't look like any eyecon and gashat i've ever seen...
The eyecon was a reverse "Ore" eyecon, the "pupil", the back of it, the button and fake button was in white. The outer shell however, was in black. I looked at the top of the eyecon to see what it was, and what I saw was horrifying.
On the top, where it'd usually show the helmet design, the name, and number, was a picture of an actual man, bloodied up and on the floor, facedown. Next to him was a silhouette, but I couldn't make out who it was.
I then looked at the gashat. It was completely black, and the white paint on the front that would cover the picture on the other side was laid out like the Dangerous Zombie gashat. However, the picture the white paint on the front was covering on the other hand...
It was a silhouette, but the same as the eyecon, it was hard to make out who it was.
The label on the gashat however, was just 2 white pupils, with a red mouth, smiling. It didn't even have the name of it on it! This scared me.
I then tried to push the button on the gashat. Instead i got "GAME OVER." and the game over sound.
Instead of getting a winning sound on it, i always get a losing sound.
I tried to push the button on the eyecon, it did not flip through pictures.
I decided to put the eyecon in the DX Ghost Driver to see if it did anything. I closed it, then it went through the idle sound the Necrom eyecon would only do in the ghost driver. I pulled the handle, and then it said "CHIKAIME! OYASUMI!" then it just did the power down sound. "Odd." I thought. I took the eyecon out, closed the ghost driver, and turned it off.
I then decided to stop foddling around and just turn the machine on already. The ganbarizing logo on the machine had orange sharpie on it, reading, in japanese, "SATSUJIN". I did not know what this meant, but I went to turn on the machine. I turned it on, put in a dollar twenty-five, and went to go play some Ganbarizing! I scanned in the IC card, and looked at what ganbarider this IC card has.
For some reason, it was apparently Ganbarider Acuto, which I found odd as Acuto was never playable in-game.
I shrugged it off as a glitch and started a round.
I scanned in one of the cards found next to the machine, "Dark Ghost"
Next, I scanned in "Genm Level X", which I found odd as Genm never had a Zombie Gamer card, let alone a Level X card.
Then lastly, I scanned in an odd card which is supposed to be Kamen Rider Fang, which is odd as he is nonexistant. In the cutscene that's supposed to show a rider either transforming or atleast talking, it showed Joker picking up Fang and replacing the joker memory with the Fang memory, turning into Kamen Rider Fang.
Then scan chance happened. I wanted to pick a rider to give a gashat, but it picked Dark Ghost without me doing anything.
I then got out the odd eyecon and scanned it.
"OYASUMI!"
The Oyasumi parka ghost was a completely black robe, with red eyes. Then an extra parka ghost appeared...
"NINGEN!"
The Ningen damashii was a blue jacket, with buttons, headphones on the hood, and had brown eyes. It couldn't let me pick the Ningen damashii, so i went with the Oyasumi damashii.
The eyecon fell down and then Dark Ghost caught it and put it in the Ghost Driver. I hit the button to push in the lever, then the ghost driver said "KAIGAN! DEATH!". The icon that was supposed to show the helmet design instead showed a red X.
"Wait, what the hell?" popped into my mind.
The helmet was still the parka ghost's red eyes.
"SHI WA ANATA NO TAMASHĪ O TORU TAME NI KOKO NI IRU, ANATA WA DASSHUTSU DEKINAI!"
Then scan chance happened AGAIN for some reason. Instead, it automatically goes to Genm. I picked up the odd looking gashat and scanned it in.
"GAME OVER." it says. I hit the button to replace the Dangerous Zombie gashat, and it said "SATSUJIN MADE NO JIKAN!"
Genm hit the red switch, and it turned Genm into Level X with reversed colors, black is now white, and white is now black. The creepiest thing about this is that his goggles were now completely black, with blood flowing out of them.
"ANATA NO JINSEI NO TAME NO TATAKAI, (genocide) ANATA NO JINSEI NO TAME NO SATSUJIN, JIKKŌ KANŌ!"
Then the round started. The opposing team was Diend Complete, Aqua, and IXA. Seems like it'd be simple.
I started the roulette, and all the icons were the super attack icon (y'know, the icon that is either your rider's icon, a gashat, or an eyecon helmet design?) I just stopped all the icons, then I got a power level(?) of about 6666. the opposing team just had "0001" and had all fist icons.
The riders attacked, and blood came out of the opposing team as my team attacked. Then the opposing team immediately got knocked down to health of "1". Then it selects Dark Ghost and the announcer says "BURST BREAK!"
I then immediately looked at the Dark Ghost card, it looked different for some odd reason...
The card's picture was replaced with the picture shown on the odd eyecon, except the silhouette was replaced with Dark Ghost in the Oyasumi parka ghost, and the corpse was replaced with Diend Complete, but bloodied up and had cuts EVERYWHERE. I almost vomited, but carried on.
As I burst-breaked Dark Ghost, he puts the Oyasumi eyecon into Omega Drive, and then gets a bloody knife. After that, he repeatedly stabs Aqua, causing Aqua to collapse, laying in a pool of blood. Then Diend Complete tries to run away, but then Dark Ghost caught Diend Complete, and cut open his neck, killing Diend Complete. After that, IXA tries to attack, but Dark Ghost was invincible, causing damage to IXA instead of Dark Ghost. Then IXA just dies.
After that, a picture of Ganbarider Acuto, starts flashing on the screen. Then i just smashed the screen with a hammer. After that, I threw the machine outside, and burned the cards, the gashat, and the eyecon. After that, I never want to hear of Kamen Rider ever again...
...then I found a gashat that's completely red, now I want to kill eVEryojMSAS